Survivors
by fangirl3725
Summary: We all know how Tris died setting off the memory serum in Allegiant. But what would have happened if she had survived those bullet wounds? Would she and Tobias finally be able to start a life together? Or would she be too broken to ever heal?
1. Hope

**Hey guys! I'm starting a new story! Great idea right? Yeah right, I can barely update the two stories I'm writing right now, and now I'm adding another one to the mix. Basically this is a fanfic if Tris survived the end of Allegiant. I know, I know- various forms of this fanfic have already been written but I'm hoping mine will be different. Anyway I'm still working on the update thing and am trying to come up with some sort of schedule but...Anyway we'll just see how it goes. Here's the first chapter. Enjoy! Veronica Roth owns everything!**

 _Tris POV_

I'm dying.

I know I am. I've evaded death so many times in the past - the attack in Abnegation, the attack in Amity, that time in Erudite, the trip outside the fence, while trying to protect my Divergence, even just minutes ago in the death serum. All those times I lived - whether it was from pure luck or skill I don't know.

I'm just a little girl from Abnegation who may or may not have turned into a hero. I don't deserve to live. I should have died so many times, but instead others died in my place. I shudder as their faces flicker in my memory. Al, Will, Marlene, Lynn, Tori, Uriah. So many lives, so much death I have caused.

I would cry out, if I was still alive. The bullet wounds from David are bleeding heavily, large pools of red surrounding me. But that is not what is killing me. A bullet wound is insignificant. I am bleeding from the inside out. I have felt guilt before, but this, this is something entirely different. The guilt is eating me alive.

Suddenly, I understand why Caleb would want to give up his life. This feeling, this guilt, is a horrible feeling. It taunts you, convincing you that you are worthless, that you could be so much better. If I could be relieved of this dreadful emotion, even for a second, I would take it. And if that means death, then so be it.

Finally at peace, I close my eyes, drifting off into oblivion, ready to face whatever future awaits me on the other side.

 _Tobias POV_

As I hurry through the gates off the Bureau I can't help feeling that something is off. I can't hear any voices and it's as if there is a feeling of death in the air. That's strange, considering that Caleb is the only one who died tonight. But then again, the memory serum is like death. Having your whole life erased isn't much better than death. And we sentenced a whole population to that fate. My stomach twists. I wanted change, but I didn't know that it would be this costly.

I double my pace, ignoring Christina's protests to slow down. Something had happened, and I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like it. I reach the entrance of the Bureau and enter the main lobby. It is empty, save for Cara. She is sitting down on one of the few couches in the room, her back to me. Her body is dotted with bruises and she is nervously wringing her hands. I clear my throat and she whirls around to face me. When she recognizes that it's me her expression becomes troubled.

I tense up, preparing for the worst. This is bad news, I can tell. The others quickly catch up to me and, after seeing the look on Cara's face, immediately stiffen up as well.

"I-I'm sorry Tobias", Cara says, speaking only to me.

"What happened?" I ask tersely, not in the mood for her pity.

"It's Tris. She- she went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb. She survived the death serum but David was there waiting for her. She set off the memory serum, but not before David shot her. She's in the ICU now. She's alive, but she's in a coma. The doctors aren't sure if she's going to wake up." Cara chokes these words out, on the verge of tears.

I can't speak. And that's a good thing, because I have nothing to say. It's Uriah all over again. She's in a coma, she's never going to wake up. And it's going to be up to me about whether or not we unplug her.

"She's dead", I say flatly, my voice monotone and unrecognizable.

I forgot that the others were even there until Christina speaks up.

"She is not dead!" she exclaims. "This is Tris we're talking about. The girl who survived even through the most difficult of situations. Some measly bullet wounds are not going to bring her down." She says all this with passion and reverence, as if Tris were some kind of God. And then I realize that she is. She claims that she is just a small girl who transferred from Abnegation, but she's not. She's so much more than that. I understand why she's Divergent now. She can't fit into any faction. She's bigger than all of them.

I also realize something else. Tris is _not_ dead. She's just in a coma. A coma that she _will_ wake up from. And suddenly I have hope. That hope may lead to my eternal happiness, or it may just be a setup for disappointment. Only time will tell.

Cara sees the look on my face and frowns. "Don't get your hopes up Tobias. The doctors say that there is only a slight chance that she will survive this."

I know that this should disappoint me. But I'm already on Cloud 9, the prospect of possibly seeing Tris again erasing all logic from my brain.

"That's enough for me."

 **Okay so that's chapter 1. Sorry it was kind of short, I just wanted to introduce the story. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy it and the next chapter will be posted soon (hopefully). Please review your thoughts and any changes and/or events that you would like to see happen. Also I'll be putting up the cover picture soon, but FFN is being a little difficult right now.  
**

 **Btw can you believe it's almost Thanksgiving!?**


	2. Epiphanies and Arguments

**Hi! So this is chapter 2. I'll probably be doing weekly, sometimes bi-weekly updates on this story, most probably on the weekends. I've gotten a few follows so far and I'm super happy! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far. (well the one chapter I've posted :)) Anyway, enjoy! All rights go to VR!**

 _Tris POV_

I'm floating around in the darkness, content. I see the bullet wounds on me, but I can't feel them. So this is what death feels like. Kind of boring, but surprisingly painless. I wonder where everyone is. Mom, Dad, my friends? And then I wonder, _what if I'm in hell?_ I wouldn't be surprised, considering all the terrible things that I have done. I quickly dismiss the thought, hell wouldn't be so peaceful.

My thoughts drift through the faces of my friends and my loved ones, first the dead, then the alive. It stops on Tobias and I gasp. _What have I done?_ I remember what he said at Erudite headquarters. _You die, I die too._ He couldn't kill himself over me. I'm small, insignificant. I don't matter. Sure my death may crush him, but he'll get over it. He's strong.

Clinging to that little hope, I continue the slideshow of faces. I see Christina's face and I shudder. I promised her that I would never leave her. And now look what I've done. It may not have been intentional, but I still left. The rest of the faces go by in a blur. Cara's catches my eye, but I didn't know her long enough for her to become significant.

The last face is the one that kills me the most. Caleb. His guilt was immenseful before, me dying must have made it a thousand times worse. And I realize something. He _did_ love me. He may have gone into the Weapons Lab to get rid of his guilt, but why would he feel guilty if he didn't love me? Maybe it wasn't the strongest of loves, but it was there. Caleb was a Erudite, hungry for knowledge. I'm not surprised that he doesn't understand love.

But he did it for me. He did it because he loved me. He was ready to sacrifice himself if it meant that I would finally forgive him. The Erudite are vain and selfish, never doing anything that they deem unnecessary. They live for the pursuit of knowledge. They don't understand such rudimentary thing such as love, pain, guilt, and sacrifice. But Caleb did. Maybe not to a very high degree, but he felt them. The Erudite hadn't gotten to Caleb. He was still my brother, the one who urged me to make my own choices.

At this epiphany I want to cry out with joy and relief. Ever since we left Erudite headquarters I had been itching to know why Caleb would betray me like that. And then later, at the Bureau, I didn't understand why he would volunteer to die. But I understand it now. Love is a powerful thing. Even the factions cannot destroy it.

 _Tobias POV_

I sit in the waiting room of the ICU, my foot tapping impatiently. Any hope I had before had vanished. I knew she was alive, but I didn't know if she would survive. And if she didn't survive, what would I do?

I could kill myself, but what use would that do? At the Erudite headquarters I had said that if she died I would die too. But now I'm not so sure. And it would crush Evelyn and my friends. We have already experienced too much death, I will not add another one to the mix.

There is one other option though. I could forget. All it would take is one dose off memeory serum. It would be easy, too easy. I could start over and escape this grief. I contemplate this idea, but eventually ignore it. Tris isn't dead yet, I will think about what to do when the doctors give me her diagnosis. Right now all I can do is pray.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't even notice the person approach me until they speak.

"Tobias", a rough voice says. I look up and match the gravelly voice with Caleb. I glare at him. It was going to take a lot of my restraint not to kill him. He looks like shit though. His eyes are red and puffy with tears and his face is pale, like he hasn't slept for hours. Which he probably hasn't.

I forget sometimes that Caleb is Tris's sister. I'm so blinded by how he betrayed her that I forget that he has a connection to her. He doesn't deserve that relationship though. He's hurt her time after time, but she still found even love in her heart to forgive him and to lay down her life for him. Tries understands what love is. Caleb doesn't.

"What?" I ask sharply, my tone matching the anger in my eyes.

"I need to tell you something", Caleb says, his voice choked.

I wait for him to say something, but he is studying me, looking for something. What, I don't know. I don't care either. After a few moments of this, I snap.

"What is it? You know as well as I do that I'm struggling not to kill you. I only have so much patience. So either tell me whatever you came here to tell me or get the hell out!" I shout, anger evident in my voice. But I'm not angry, I'm just frustrated.

Caleb takes a deep breath and thankfully starts to speak. "She- she told me something before she went into the Weapons Lab." He says all this hesitantly, afraid that I'll explode. He has a right to worry.

I wait, eager to hear anything regarding Tris.

"She told me to tell you that- that she didn't want to leave you."

I freeze. Not this, anything but this. This wasn't going to go well. I can almost see the steam coming from my ears. Caleb looks worried. He should, there's a chance he might not make it out of this conversation alive.

"She told you", I start coolly. "That she didn't want to leave me?" I ask, wanting to to make sure I heard him right. "Yes-yes", Caleb says, looking absolutely petrified.

"Then why the hell did she leave me!" I yell, my voice desperate. "Why didn't she let you go into the Weapons Lab instead. God knows you deserved it!" At this Caleb flinches, but I'm too furious too care.

I wait. This wasn't some rhetorical question, I expected an answer. Caleb seems to sense that so he speaks up again.

"I don't know", he says. "Don't you think that I'm asking myself the same thing? It's been killing me, the guilt. I had a chance to go in there instead of her, but I didn't. You're right though. I do deserve it." He admits this last part quietly, his voice filled with shame. "But she threatened to shoot me. What was I supposed to do?" he asks, his voice slightly hysterical.

It's a good thing he didn't join Dauntless, he didn't have an ounce of bravery in him. "You were supposed to let her shoot you, you idiot! She wasn't going to kill you. Do you think after she asked me to save you from your execution that she would just kill you like that?"

Caleb doesn't respond immediately, letting my words sink in. I can tell that the Erudite part of him can see my logic. But he's just as stubborn as Tris. He refuses to be wrong and I know that this argument is going to last a while. I'm glad though. At least it will take my mind off Tris.

"I couldn't just let her shoot me. Then I would have an even harder time getting to the Weapons Lab. And I don't care what you Dauntless say. Bravery is idiocy." His voice is calm, ringing on finality. He believes that he won the argument. But he's wrong. Just because I didn't join Erudite doesn't mean I can't think.

"Then what is your sister? An idiot? Because going into the Weapons Lab instead of you is pretty brave. And everything she did before, that's brave too." I smirk, sure that this will stump him.

I can see Caleb warring with himself in his mind. On one hand he wants to win. But on the other side he knows I'm right. He knows that Tris is no idiot. Finally, he sighs. "You're right", he says. "if it wasn't for Tris's bravery I would be dead right now." I open my mouth to interject but he continues. "Not that that isn't what should have happened. Tris was wrong. She was more Abnegation then I could ever be."

At those words, he turns on his heel and walks away, no doubt to ponder about Tris's sacrifice even further. I want to stop him, but I know that it will most probably end up in a fight, so I let him go. I return to my thoughts, flipping idly through memories of Tris.

 **Ok so that's chapter 2. Hope you liked it. Next chapter we will find out about Tris's condition. Read and don't hesitate to review (good and bad). Will update soon (I hope). Bye!**

 **Btw hopefully the cover pic will be up soon. I've already picked it out but I think FFN has some type of bug so I can't upload it. Crossing my fingers that it will get fixed. :)**


	3. Waking Up

**Hey! It's officially break! I hope that I'll be able to update daily or maybe every other day this week. Anyway here's chapter 3. Tris may or may not wake up in this chapter, I'm not sure yet. Anyway enjoy and all rights go to Veronica Roth!**

 _Christina POV_

I was an utter wreck. I had been sitting in the hospital waiting room for the past 3 days, only leaving to eat or use the restroom. I was broken. Tris, my best friend, was as good as dead. First Will, then Uriah, and now this. It seemed that everyone I cared about was eventually taken away from me. I tried to stay strong, but I just couldn't anymore. I had given up.

And Tobias. He acted like he was the only one who was grieving. I know he had formerly been Abnegation but he was acting pretty damn selfish right now. He couldn't see past his own sadness. Me, Caleb, our friends- we were all miserable. But he didn't see that. He acted like he owned Tris, therefore he was the only one who was allowed to feel the pain caused by her death. He couldn't be more wrong.

I knew he loved her, but he was taking it a little far. Only one person was allowed in her room, and he had made that seat his permanent residence until she woke up. He hadn't allowed any of us to stay, always insisting that he could handle it. He was oblivious to the fact that we wanted to see her because we cared about her, not because we wanted to give Tobias some time to relax. He was being an ungrateful jerk to be honest.

I suddenly was furious. Not at anyone specific, just at life in general. For killing Will, for killing Uriah, and now, for basically killing Tris. I didn't understand why she was had sacrificed herself for Caleb. He had delivered her to her own execution. _Why the hell would she give up her life for him?_ In the time where I wasn't agonized over Tris's death, I was debating this question. I knew he was her family but he had betrayed her. This question was torturing me. I needed to ask her why she did it. I just hoped that she would wake up so I could.

 _Tris POV_

I was officially tired of this darkness. It was tranquil at first, but after a while that feeling disappeared. It was like the Amity peace serum. It would make you a cheerful freak, but eventually it would wear off.

I longed to see my friends, even Caleb. I wasn't quite as mad as him as I was before. I hadn't forgiven him but I felt like I understood him a little bit better. Not just because of my epiphany from earlier, but because of the little game of Candor we had played before the whole thing. I understood his motives, and even if they weren't the same as mine, they were there.

I continued to contemplate his answer to my question, for the moment forgetting about my wish to see my friends. I was stuck in this place, wherever it was. I might as well do something useful while I wait. I continued to pass the time, but in reality I was afraid of what I would see when I woke up.

 _Tobias POV_

The chair was hard and unforgiving, and hours of sitting in it had left my butt numb. But I refused to get up. Multiple people offered to take my place, but I didn't allowed it. I didn't need their help. I was strong enough on my own. I probably should ignore my pride, it had caused enough problems by now, but I was too distraught to do anything but be distressed.

A voice in the back of my head whispered that they offered to take my place, not because they doubted my strength, but because they were worried about Tris. I ignored it, deciding that I would deal with it when Tris woke up. _If_ Tris woke up.

I start to cry without warning. Tears stream silently down my face as my heart breaks yet again. Tris had been the one person that I had truly loved, and now she was going to be taken away from me. When we designed this mission to release the memory serum I never imagined that someone I cared about would get hurt. And that the person to get hurt would be the one person that I couldn't live without.

I start to cry freely. It was the middle of the night and nobody would be able to see me, even the doctors stayed away at this time. I realize how selfish it is to cry, how it will help nothing, but I do it anyway. Tris was my whole life. She gave me a reason to keep going. But I should have known that a fire that burned that bright wasn't meant to last.

I scold myself. She might be dying, but there was nothing I could do about it. So I might as well enjoy these last few moments I have with her. Even if it is with her sleeping body. I recommit her to memory, never wanting to lose this image of her, in the case that she doesn't make it. When the tears threaten to fall. I push them away. I had cried enough for one day.

I studied her sleeping form on the hospital bed and was again taken aback by her sheer beauty. She refused to see how beautiful she really was, always insisting that she was nothing special. She had underestimated herself from the very beginning, never seeing her true potential.

She was angelic. She looked delicate but she was stronger than anyone I had ever met. Including myself.

Her face is peaceful, not showing the amount of war and destruction she has had to suffer through in the past few months. Her face is pale as always, but is glowing, like she has some sort of secret. Her brilliant blue eyes are hidden from view from the moment but I can imagine them perfectly. You can see within her just by looking into her eyes. They said eyes were the windows to the soul. Tris proved that point. Her cheeks are tinted a slight pink and her lips are pursed, as if she is deep in thought. Her blond hair is splayed across her pillow, the blond catching the light. She was stunning. If she would only realize it.

I relax against the back of my chair, captivated by memories of Tris and I. Some of them are more recent, while some of them date back to initiation. I doze off for a while. I have nightmares of Tris dying, so my disturbed sleep lasts only a short while. I try to fall back asleep, but after a couple of minutes I give up.

I settle on looking at Tris until the doctors arrived. I could never get tired of that. She stirs and my heart stops for a second, hoping that she's woken up. But she stays motionless. In a motion so quick that I almost don't catch it, her fingers curl. I tense up, praying that she will wake up. Nothing happens. My hopes crushed, I resume my staring.

I'm about to fall back asleep when the impossible of the impossible happens. Tris's eyes flutter open. I am hit by her icy blue eyes, her gaze unwavering. I want to cry with joy, but I'm speechless. I'm about to tell her how much I missed her when she speaks.

"Who are you?"

 **OK. So that's chapter 3. Sorry about the cliffy. I just wanted to add in a little plot twist. And I just realized that the part where Tobias stares at her is kinda creepy. Also, for those of you wondering why she could remember all her friends before she woke up and why she can't now I'm going to answer your question right now. Tris wasn't inoculated against the memory serum so when she set it off it affected her as well. And because she was so injured it didn't affect her mind yet. It couldn't affect her until she was stable and healthy. That's why it didn't go into effect until she wakes up in the hospital. I know my explanation is kind of weird but I hope you understood. The next chapter will be updated soon and I've also posted a couple new stories if you want to check them out. Happy almost Thanksgiving! Bye!**

 **P.S. did any of you catch my allegiant quote? just wondering**


	4. Choices

**Hey guys! I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. If you can't already tell, I'm really bad at doing it consistently. Luckily there is only about a week left of school and then I'll have a lot of free time where I can update. I can't wait for winter break! Christmas, New Years', and a lot of birthdays too. I'm thinking of doing a special Christmas chapter for each of my stories. Anyway here is chapter 4! Hope you like it! As always, all rights go to VR!**

 _Tris POV_

This nothingness is really getting on my nerves. I really want to punch somebody, if there was anyone to punch. I'd take death over this any day.

Suddenly, I see a flicker from the corner of my eye.

"Hello?" I call out cautiously. "Is anyone there?"

I'm shocked at the sound of my voice. I haven't used it since I got here since there was no one to talk to, but it has changed immensely. Instead of my regular voice it's rough and gravelly, like I have a bunch of rocks in my throat. I clear my throat in the hopes to get rid of the scratchiness.

No one answers. I wait a couple of seconds. Still nothing. I shake my head, I was probably just imagining things. Being stuck in this blankness was sure to make anyone go crazy. I sigh. It would have been nice if someone else was there besides me. At least it would mean that I wasn't the only one stuck in this hell.

I see another movement just a couple of feet away from me. That was definitely real.

"Who's there?" I ask questioningly.

Again, there's no response. I'm starting to get annoyed. I have a feeling that someone is watching me, but I'm too frustrated to care. I ignore the motions and continue to try to figure out a way to escape this darkness.

Something glimmers, this time only a foot in front of me. I decide to get to the bottom of this and figure out who this mystery person was.

"I know someone's there", I say accusingly. "Just show yourself." I say this impatiently. I may have nothing to do at the moment, but this person, whoever it was, was seriously irritating me.

A figure steps out from the darkness. They move slowly, as if they are afraid to scare me off. I inwardly snort, as if I had anywhere to go. The person has a sort of glowing aura around them, which lights up anything 15 feet around them. I look around and see that I am in a blank room. It is filled with rows of chairs and tables, all of which are white. It reminds me kind of the cafeteria at school back in Abnegation.

Then the figure lifts their head up and look at me, smiling sheepishly. I recognize the person almost instantly and gasp.

"Mom!" I say incredulously.

"Yes, it's me Beatrice", she says softly, a small smile on her face.

"But-but how?" I stutter.

"Come sit", my mother says, gesturing to two chairs. "I'll explain everything." I nod and take a seat in one of the chairs. I face her, ready for some answers.

"You remember everything that happened back in the Weapons Lab correct?" she asks. I nod quickly and she continues.

"Well let me start off my telling you that you're not dead." An audible gasp of relief escapes me. While I'm overjoyed to see my mother again, I'm not quite ready to leave my life and my friends behind.

"The death serum, for some miraculous reason, didn't kill you. You were able to survive it, something that I never thought possible. But the shots that David fired at you were pretty lethal and they caused you to go into a coma. The doctors at the Bureau are highly advanced and managed to pull you from the brink of death. You will wake up from the coma, but you won't remember a thing. You weren't inoculated against the memory serum, and so your mind has been erased. You won't be able to remember any of your friends or anything that happened before this point. You will of course be able to remember the basic things like walking or talking, but nothing past that extent. I'm sorry Tris, but those are some of the sacrifices you must make if you want to rejoin your friends back on Earth."

I nod numbly. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to escape this place unscathed, and I was right. I may be fine physically, but mentally I was gone. All my memories, my whole life would be erased. I would forget my family, my friends, and... I gasp. I wouldn't be able to remember Tobias. What would happen then? I have always insisted that Tobias deserves to be loved, but what will happen when I am not there to remind him anymore? Then a thought strikes me.

"Won't I be able to fight this serum?" I ask hopefully."I've fought all the rest of them." _Except for the peace serum._ I add mentally. But I had no prior warning to that and Tobias had said that I may not have resisted it because I didn't want to.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but that's not the case. You're body and mind are too weak. They are not in any state to be able to resist such a strong serum."

I nod in understanding. "So that's it", I say. "I go back to Earth but I remember no one. Is that the only choice?"

"Of course not Beatrice. Right now, you are in the middle. Not on Earth but you haven't quite reached heaven. You have an option. You can either go back to your life and volunteer to forget everything and start over. Or you can join me in heaven and keep all your memories, but never see your friends again."

I contemplate my options. I'm itching to see my friends again, but what's the use of seeing them if I won't remember them. I don't want to die so young though. I have my whole life ahead of me. I might have to start anew but that's fine. I could become friends with my old friend as new Tris. I could possibly fall in love with Tobias all over again. I would be able to see my mother and the rest of my dead loved ones when I died for real. I could then join them in heaven, forever at peace.

"Ok. I have made my decision", I state firmly. "I want to rejoin my friends back on Earth. I'm willing to forget everything."

My mother's face falls slightly at my words and I wince, pained that I have hurt her. "It's not that I don't want to-", I start, but my mother interrupts me.

"It's ok Beatrice. I understand. You've still got your whole life in front of you. Go live it. I'll be here, waiting for you to join me."

I smile, a few tears leaking from my eyes. I hug my mother tightly. When I pull away I have a determined expression on my face. "I'm ready", I state.

My mother nods. "Good luck Beatrice. I'll see you soon." And with those words, she fades away and I am again greeted by the darkness.

I close my eyes and wait. I feel a sort of whooshing noise as I speed back into my own body. I settle into it, reveling in the familiarity and comfort of it. I decide to open my eyes in ten seconds, a different face flashing in my mind as the seconds pass. A countdown to my death. In ten seconds I will wake up, as a new person.

 _Ten._

Goodbye Al.

 _Nine._

Goodbye Cara.

 _Eight._

Goodbye Tori

 _Seven._

Goodbye Will.

 _Six._

Goodbye Uriah.

 _Five._

Goodbye Caleb.

 _Four._

Goodbye Dad.

 _Three._

Goodbye Mom.

 _Two._

Goodbye Christina.

 _One._

Goodbye Tobias.

Determination courses through my veins as I think my last thoughts as Tris Prior. I don't know what will happen once I open my eyes. But I do know one thing. I am not afraid. I am willing to forget. Life means making sacrifices. And if losing my memories means getting to see my friends again, then so be it. I'd do it a thousand times over again. I might not remember them, but they will remember me.

I open my eyes.

 **Ok. So that's chapter 4. Sorry it was kind of short, it's kind of a filler chapter. I just wanted Tris to realize what was going to happen. And it was nice to have Natalie in there for a chapter. Next chapter will be Tris waking up from her point of view. There may be some Tobias in there as well but I'm not sure. Anyway I hope you guys liked it. Don't forget to review any thoughts or comments. Sorry for the long wait. I'll try to update sooner next time. Bye!**


	5. Confusion and Explanations

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I have just been super busy with the holidays. I also officially turned 14 yesterday! Yay! I've been writing this chapter on and off for the past week and I was finally able to finish it today. This chapter is what happens after Tris wakes up. She won't remember anyone but she will have an unexplained connection to them. (thanks Helloworld46 for the awesome idea :)) All rights go to Veronica Roth! Enjoy!**

 _Tris POV_

I open my eyes to see a guy staring at me in what I can only describe as pure astonishment. His eyes are a piercing dark blue and sparkle with hope. They seem to see into my soul, and I squirm uncomfortably.

He doesn't stop looking at me, continuing to stare into my eyes. For some reason, I feel like I know this man. I've never seen him before, but I feel a sort of connection to him. I feel like I knew him before, in another time. It's strange and I don't know how to explain it.

The silence stretches on and the man doesn't make at move to speak. I start to feel awkward, so I decide to speak up. I plan to say something about this unearthly connection I feel towards him, but what comes out of my mouth is nothing of the sort.

"Who are you?" I ask bluntly. The words bubble out of my lips easily. But I don't try to take them back. I urge for an explanation for this feeling, even if this isn't necessarily the most subtle way to go about it.

The man's eyebrows crinkle in confusion, his expression becoming puzzled. He studies my face for a moment before finally speaking.

"What do you mean? I'm Tobias", he states as if it was obvious. My expression molds into a confused expression identical to his own. He sees the look on my face and continues. "Your boyfriend", he tries. His voice is laced with pride when he says that. The term doesn't do anything to make me understand. If anything, it confuses me even more.

I snort. When more lines grace his features I attempt to explain.

"A guy as handsome as you would never fall for a girl like me", I say, gesturing to each of us in turn. My limp blond hair and watery blue eyes were nothing compared to his chiseled jaw and beautiful eyes. His expression becomes pained, as if it hurts him that I would believe such a thing.

"How could I not? You're smart, strong, and extremely selfless", he says firmly, as if he was stating a fact instead of just explaining his opinion.

I blush, flattered that he would say such a thing- even if I don't believe it.

"Thanks. But I still don't believe you..." I trail off, realizing that I don't know his name. I wait, thinking that he will supply it for me. He says nothing, choosing to just stare at me.

I clear my throat and fight off a blush. "Um, what's your name?" I ask stupidly.

At first he doesn't speak. His expression just turns shocked, his jaw dropping open in disbelief.

"You-you don't know my name?" he stutters out, his voice filled with sorrow.

I shake my head, feeling guilty that I'm causing him such pain. I don't understand why I'm causing so much pain though.

For one long moment he is silent. I can almost see the gears turning in his head, contemplating why this is. Then the concentrated look disappears from his eyes and his face becomes expressionless.

"You aren't joking", he says flatly, his voice devoid of any emotion.

His words just confuse me even more, if such a thing was even possible. Why would I be joking? My situation was far from a laughing matter.

"No", I say hesitantly. "I honestly don't know who you are." At my words his poker face turns pained, as if the idea of me not knowing him was hurting him.

I rush on, not being able to bear seeing his distress anymore.

"If it helps, I feel like I know you." He doesn't do anything to show me that he heard what I said so I continue. I don't have a clue what to say, but I decide to just wing it.

"I don't know how to explain it. I don't recall ever seeing you before but you look familiar. When I woke up I was super confused about where I was and how I got here. I still am. Heck I don't even know my name! But when I saw you, especially your eyes, it just clicked. I had this strange feeling as if I knew you, which is crazy considering we've just met. I know its crazy and you probably don't believe me, but I know you Tobias. Somehow. I just need to figure out how."

After I'm done with my little rant I take in a big gulp of air, since I delivered that whole speech in one breath. Tobias's facial expression has barely changed, but there's something in his eyes that's different. They don't look so somber now. They look brighter and seem to sparkle when the light catches them. Suddenly I identify what the emotion is. It's hope. I don't know why he feels hopeful. but I'm going to take it as a step in the right direction.

Tobias mumbles something quietly, so quietly that the only clue that I have to know that he was talking was his lips moving. "What?" I ask confusedly.

"Beatrice Prior. Tris for short", he says.

I'm perplexed. Is that someone's name? Should I know that person? I hope not because it doesn't ring a bell. Tobias must see my visible confusion because he continues talking.

"It's your name", he says quietly. "You said you didn't know your name, so I told you. You'd be surprised how much power those 5 syllables hold around here. You're a hero Tris. If only you can remember it."

His voice is casual, but I detect a bit of reverence behind it. I'm shocked. How could I be so important? I was just a skinny girl with blond hair and blue eyes. I was nothing. Put me next to Tobias and I was invisible. I hoped that not all of the people here were as good-looking as him, for the sake of my self-esteem.

After he reveals that little piece of information he falls silent again. But this time I can see that it's because he is deep in thought, not out of sadness or confusion. No doubt he was trying to figure out this mess.

I decide not to disturb him. Besides, I have a lot to think about. This situation is crazy but at least Tobias gave me the tool I needed to start trying to make sense of it. He gave me my name. To most people it might be nothing, just something to write on papers or use during introductions. But to me it meant so much more. It gave me an identity. This place was strange and confusing, but if my name was as influential as Tobias said it was, then I had a feeling that I would have no problem navigating it.

I recall the look in Tobias' eyes just a couple of minutes ago. The look that I had described as hope. My eyes reflected his right now. They were smoldering, on fire. Because I had just been given the first piece of the puzzle that Tobias and his friends called home. I hoped that with time I could figure out the rest.

 **And done! Finally finished, after a week of trying to do it around my hectic schedule. I hope you guys enjoyed your holidays! I sure did.** **I still have a few more days left of break and I hope to update my other stories and maybe add another chapter to this one before its done. We'll just have to see. Anyway I'll see you at the next update. As always, reviews are welcome. Bye!**


	6. Grief

**Hey guys! I'm back after a month! I'm really sorry for the long wait, but 8th grade is harder than I expected. Especially right after break. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to update more regularly, but I'm not making any promises. And now, on to the next chapter! As always, I don't own the Divergent trilogy or any of the characters, Veronica Roth does.**

 _Christina POV_

I was curled up on my bed in the Bureau, grieving Tris. It was pretty pathetic considering I hadn't moved from this position since they had delivered the bad news. But, what did you expect? She was my best friend!

I was so melancholy that I hadn't even bothered to check on Tris. I just couldn't bear to see her pale body lying on the hospital bed, just barely clinging to life. It just made the ache in my heart double in size. Tris was one of the strongest, most selfless people I had ever known, it wasn't right that this was how her story was going to end.

Suddenly, I made a decision. Tris was going to wake up. And I was going to make sure that it happened. The doctors had informed us that talking to her and interacting with her might be able to reach her in her comatose state and possibly wake her up. I was disgusted at myself for staying holed up in this room while Tris was on the brink of death. So I vowed to try twice as hard as everybody else to get her to wake up

With a determined expression I crawl out of bed and walk purposefully towards the hospital wing. When I get closer to Tris's assigned room I hear voices, conversing quietly. I'm confused. Only one visitor was allowed to stay with Tris at a time. So who could that other voice be?

My old Candor self urges me to stay here and respect their privacy instead of eavesdropping. My curiosity gets the better of me though, so I tiptoe quietly towards the entrance. The door was left slightly ajar so I peek through the little opening to see inside. The scene that meets my eyes almost causes me to faint. It was Tris! She was awake and talking to Tobias! Immediately the hole in my heart closes up and hope surges through my veins.

I shriek loudly, unable to help myself, and burst through the door. Caught by surprise, the two abruptly stop talking and turn their heads to look at me. When Tris's eyes meet mine I let out another loud squeal of happiness. Tris winces slightly at the high-pitched noise, clapping her hands to her ears to tune it out. _Oops,_ I think. She's probably still weak from being in a coma for so long. _Sorry,_ I mouth. Tris nods her head to indicate that it's fine.

What surprises, and kind of hurts, me is that she doesn't wear an expression identical to mine. Instead her expression is confused and a little wary. Ignoring it, I barrel into her arms, clutching her in a tight hug. I breath in deeply, taking in her scent. She smells like a hospital, like anesthetic and medicine. I wrinkle my nose at the unpleasant odor, but don't release her. Tris keeps moving weirdly and it takes me a second to realize that she's struggling. I then further realize that she's trying to break free of my hold. I frown but let her go.

"I know you just woke up, but couldn't you spare a hug for your best friend?" I harrumphed, putting my hands on my hips.

Tris's look is sympathetic. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea who you are."

I stand there in shock for a minute before bursting into laughter.

"Good one Tris", I say giggling. "I was afraid you wouldn't be the same after you woke up. But you're still the same stubborn Tris."

Instead of laughing along with me, Tris looks at me confusedly. Her expression is empathetic, almost as if she felt sorry for me. It takes a minute for it to sink in.

"Wait, you're serious?" I ask disbelievingly. Tris doesn't respond, only nodding her head once.

I fall silent then, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Neither Tris nor Tobias speaks, giving me a chance to soak this new information in.

After a couple of minutes I turn to Tobias for some answers.

"What's wrong?" I ask weakly.

Tobias shakes his head slightly. "I'm not exactly sure, but it seems that Tris was no inoculated against the memory serum so all her memories have been lost. We'll ask the doctors for a full diagnosis in the morning.", he says solemnly. His face is expressionless and I suddenly try to imagine the amount of pain he must be in. Tris may be my best friend but she was his other half. I remember how I felt when Will died, I was completely broken inside. And I had only known him for a few short weeks. Tobias had known Tris for much longer. I couldn't even try to imagine how he must feel.

And then, suddenly, I go into denial.

"You're wrong!" I shriek loudly. "She's just fine! It's probably just a side effect from the coma. She'll be fine in the morning! You'll see!" I say this, but even my heart doesn't believe it. Tobias doesn't agree nor contradict me, instead choosing to stay silent and continue looking at me with that sickly sympathetic look. I lose it.

"Stop looking at me like that!" I scream. "Like I'm, like I'm a kicked puppy or something! I'm just shocked and confused. She was my best friend, my heart doesn't want to believe that she may be gone forever. Not physically this time, but mentally!" I'm worn out by the end of my outburst and my throat is raw from screaming. Unshed tears balance on my lashes and I flee the room before they can fall. Before Tris and Tobias can start to pity me even further.

I don't know where I'm going, I just run. Anywhere. As far away from that room as possible. That room where the body of my former best friend sits. The room where my former instructor sits with the girl he loves, who doesn't even know him anymore. I don't know that girl, that foreign girl who doesn't remember me.

I realize something. My Tris is gone forever. With her mind she disappeared as well. That girl in the hospital bed doesn't know me. My resolve crushes and I break down and slide to the floor, the sobs overtaking me. I cry and cry and cry, hoping that with the tears the memories will disappear as well. I want to forget as well. Everyone I love is gone. There's no use living anymore. I clutch my pocket where I had hidden a vial of memory serum, in case the situation got to this point.

In my grief I twist the cap off and raise it to my mouth. I feel the contents of the bottle slide down the side, getting closer and closer to my mouth. I tip the bottle back, eager to taste the first drops. But, before the substance can reach my open mouth, the world goes black.

 **And that's it! Sorry for the cliffhanger. I promise I'll update ASAP. I hope you liked the chapter and don't hesitate to review your thoughts. Bye!**


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